"the kind of pain you thought did not exist"

i saw it and i can feel it how you seems to enjoy being with others rather than me i know i am not a good ones yet i'm still try to be the one i try so hard i give my all i try to make you laugh i try to console you i try to adapt with your style but it looks like it doesn't bear any result i try to be good enough just to ensure the happiness stay but it won't you like to mingle with them and left me alone i don't know which part of me that you cannot bear i don't know which part of me you didn't like i may not be as good as them i try to be myself how can you cannot accept the way i am if i can accept how the way you are if you want perfection i cannot promise that if you want loyalty i can strive for that you don't know how hard i try to console myself i try to smile i try to be good i try to pretend like nothing shit has ever happened i try to be as normal i can i still have many other problems i don't like it when people are using my stuffs without my permission i can't stand to keep lying to myself i'm wondering how you keep doing something behind me i just do not know i had try so hard i had try so hard i had try so hard and now i'm almost give up..